In this online Dhamma talk last Sunday, Bro Billy shared that we actually have two minds – the thinking mind (mano) and the emotional mind (citta). It is the emotional mind that want things, fears things, worries about things and most often than not, is dominating our life. He explained that the Buddha taught us meditation (bhāvanā) to train and sharpen the thinking mind to gain control over the emotional mind. When the thinking mind and emotional mind are unified, one experiences jhāna as a fruition of meditation.

He also talked about the Five Hindrances that corrupt the thinking mind, weaken our wisdom and disturb the mind during meditation and how they came about. He explained how the brain waves differ in the meditative state and the hypnotic state. The hypnotic state is often mistaken for samādhi or jhāna. He gave tips on the signs of self-hypnosis state and how to ‘reset’ our meditation practice and what not to do to avoid falling into this self-hypnosis state.

In the last part of the sharing, he cautioned that NOT all meditation practice leads to awakening. Which meditation practice leads to introspective mind? Which meditation practice may lead to self-hypnosis? To find out, click the link below and watch it till the end:
MEDITATION PITFALL – SELF-HYPNOSIS

Read part 1 and part 2 and part 3 if you haven’t already

It is easier to practise gratitude when things are going smoothly and well, but what about when times are truly bad? How do we practise gratitude then? In this last article in the Gratitude Series, let’s see how to practise gratitude in adversity.

Gratitude provides us the ability to notice, acknowledge and appreciate for the good parts of any situation, relationship, or experience. Thus, gratitude is to be cultivated as a habit or attitude of the mind, NOT dependent on conditions – it’s really the difficult times that teach us the most! Difficult times create circumstances where growth or realisation can occur in ways it can’t while sailing in smoother waters.

For example, sickness teaches us to appreciate our body, life and our loved ones. It is when we are sick that we realise who truly cares for us and what truly matters in life. Financial crisis teaches us to be frugal, far-sighted and careful in our expenditure. It is when we are broke that we see who our true friends are. So, even in adversity, we can find things to be grateful for – that is if we look in the right direction.

Life is full of blessings. Most of the time, we are just too blind to see them. Hard times are often blessings in disguise. Truth be told, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones we need the most. Don’t you agree?

The Dalai Lama says that we should be thankful for our ‘enemies’, for they have much to teach us about equanimity, patience, forgiveness and loving-kindness. In Tibet, monks and nuns even offer prayers of gratitude for the suffering they have been given: “Grant that I might have enough suffering to awaken in me the deepest possible compassion and wisdom.” Truly, practising gratitude during challenging times provide us the opportunities to learn, grow and transform into better selves.

Final thoughts

Gratitude is a powerful tool towards happiness. It softens adversities, prevents us from taking things in our lives for granted, changes perspective, promotes mindfulness, redirects negativity into positivity, and deepens the sense and purpose in life. Practising small, grateful acts every day can uplift us, make a difference for others and help change the world.

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Read the previous posts in the series:
Gratitude – the simplest road to happiness [Part 1]
What the Buddha taught about gratitude [Part 2]
How to practise gratitude? [Part 3]

Read Part 1 and Part 2 if you haven’t already

Happy people are already apt in practising gratitude but for most of us, gratitude is not something that occurs naturally – it is a skill that needs to be cultivated and therefore, it requires a continuous conscious effort. In this article, we have some tips on how we can cultivate the skill of being grateful.

1. Practise gratitude consistently

Set aside a time to reflect on things that you are grateful for every single day. For example, you can create a gratitude journal or make it a habit to reflect on what you’re grateful for first thing in the morning or before going to bed.

2. Reframe your mind

When you find yourself fretting about things that go wrong, remind yourself of what’s going right. For example, if you’re upset that you have to wake up early for work, give gratitude for the fact that you have a job to draw a salary from. By considering things in a positive light, it can powerfully transform your thinking and makes it easier to feel grateful.

3. Put gratitude into action

Get in the habit of TELLING people that you are grateful for them. You can send a text, bake and deliver a batch of ‘gratitude cookies’, or write a heartfelt note of gratitude. Your expression of gratitude will boost both the receiver’s mood and your own.

4. Pause, look and find the beauty in the ordinary

In order to practise gratitude, we have to put little stops signs into our daily life. Pause or slow down to notice all that is already present and abundant – from the tiniest things to the grandest of our blessings – and in doing so, we take nothing for granted. Find the beauty in the ordinary – warm tea, a child’s smile, the roof over our heads or the ability to smell and taste our food amidst this Covid-19 pandemic! The fact that we are still breathing shouldn’t be taken for granted – as long as we are breathing, there is far more right with us than there is wrong with us. So, take a deep breath of gratitude.

5. Practise mindfulness

Moment-to-moment mindfulness and gratitude go hand in hand – we cannot feel grateful if we are not mindful enough to be aware of the blessings that we have. Hence, a good way to strengthen mindfulness is to set aside some time every day to fully engage in mindfulness. This can be in the form of any meditation, chanting, or slow moving exercises such as yoga or tai chi.

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Read the other posts in the series:
Gratitude – the simplest road to happiness [Part 1]
What the Buddha taught about gratitude [Part 2]

In the last article, we already see how gratitude promotes happiness – scientifically and physiologically. How about gratitude in the Buddhadhamma? Is gratitude important in cultivation? What did the Buddha taught about gratitude?

The Buddha taught that gratitude is to be cultivated as a habit or an attitude of mind. Gratitude is necessary for integrity, a quality of those with strong moral principles.

“Monks, I will teach you the level of a person of no integrity and the level of a person of integrity. Listen & pay close attention. I will speak.”

“As you say, lord,” the monks responded.

The Blessed One said, “Now what is the level of a person of no integrity? A person of no integrity is ungrateful & unthankful. This ingratitude, this lack of thankfulness, is advocated by rude people. It is entirely on the level of people of no integrity. A person of integrity is grateful & thankful. This gratitude, this thankfulness, is advocated by civil people. It is entirely on the level of people of integrity – Kataññu Sutta

In Buddhism, gratitude is an antidote for poisons such as greed, jealousy, resentment, and grief. Why is this so? When we are grateful, we feel satisfied and appreciate what is already present in our lives. We do not chafe at the good fortune of others, or resent or mourn over things that we missed, lost, or never had. The desire for more can be boundless and endless. There is always one more thing to want!

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/j9jZSqfH5YI

Training in gratitude requires developing the right perception about life and the world. For example, if we have strong perception of ‘I’ and ‘mine’ and perceive life as a competition, it’s hard to trust the motives of those who help us, and we will resent the need to repay their help as a gratuitous burden. If, however, we perceive that everything and everyone is interconnected, then the give and take of kindness or repaying of kindness becomes a much more pleasant exchange.

Gratitude requires mindfulness. In the Buddha’s original sense of the word, it means keeping something in mind. In Pali, the word for gratitude — kataññu — literally means to have a sense of what was done. In Saṃyutta Nikāya SN 48.10, the Buddha defines mindfulness as “remembering and able to call to mind even things that were done and said long ago.” As we develop our sense of gratitude, we get to practise in strengthening this quality of the mind.

The Dalai Lama says that gratitude is a way of embracing reality instead of fighting it. Gratitude brings us completely into the present moment. We are thankful for things that are here, right now. Good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant – all is IMPERMANENT!

Image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/rsznnAGAbZ0

Acceptance and gratitude occur simultaneously. The more space we make for them in our lives, the more we practise them, the less room there is for mental poisons to take root. Thus, gratitude IS a Dhamma gate, which means a teaching or practice that we can take up and explore, leading to insight and liberation!

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Read the other posts in the series:
Gratitude – the simplest road to happiness [Part 1]
How to practise gratitude? [Part 3]
Gratitude in adversity [Part 4]